Wrote this a few weeks ago about a certain ex-girlfriend (who is on my f-list, and I really hope she sees this). Fucking. Fuck.

~
My past follows me every time I leave the room.
It’s just looking for an ending, a home with sunshine and flowers in bloom.
Last night you came to me and I tried to treat you right.
I still can’t believe I did, especially without a fight.
I took you in my arms and I gave you all of my respect;
Surprising, though, as I always say that chivalry is dead.
And it is, because when I took your hand and treated you like a lady,
You showed me your true colors, which are dark, and filthy, and shady.
Thus, in my harlequin attempts, I tried to make you mine.
I even said I’d share you, as we three would intertwine.
In all of this, I learned more of myself than I did of you.
I learned of our past memories, and how they’d never be subdued.
The thought alone makes me feel filthy, that you’ll always be around.
I just wish you’d go away from me, that you’d leave without a sound.
I’ve realized that it might be me who can’t let go just yet.
I wish I could erase your smile, I wish I could forget.
In the morning, when I woke up alone, I knew this wouldn’t be easy.
To know that I still dream of you makes me feel dirty and quite queasy.
I still feel you breathing down my neck and lingering about,
As I lean over this toilet bowl and turn my insides out.
~

This feels like it's not done. And if Line 13 is any indication, I'm not sure it ever will be.

xo
Maggie

My oldest friend would have to be Melissa, we've known each other for about 9 years now. We used to the best of friends, spending almost every waking moment with each other. Now, not so much. After I skipped a grade and she didn't, we definitely drifted apart. Now we go to the same school, but only see each other two or three times a week, and it's not really to chat or hang out like we used to. So.

My second oldest friend, though, is Jessica. We've known each other for 6 years and we're still best friends. We see each other literally every day, because we go to school together, have lunch together, and go home together, we're both in band, and we hang out on most weekends as well.

Before high school, my close friends fluctuated with each year. But, I've had the same best friends since Freshman year. The only thing that's changed is that I've made more.

Lady Gaga.
::facepalm::

I wrote a song! And it's in paragraph form! And it doesn't have a name! And to be honest, I don't even know what it's about!


~

Sometimes my words say more about me than my underlying meanings, and these eraser marks show that my humanity is quick and fleeting. But really, who's to blame for all this lingering self loathing? To be honest, the only culprit I see is the rapid removal of clothing. I never did and I never asked for this paradox to be explained, and who ever asked for all your wide-eyed innocence, so well feigned? There are bags around your eyes and feet and your heart won't be excluded, but I doubt I'll ever know the things to which you so cleverly alluded. Sometimes I dial so many wrong numbers that my fingertips are left bleeding, while you're running away from the narrow empire you should really be succeeding. All we need is a couple of minutes to be and breathe and pause. Then maybe you wouldn't be at the end of the earth still fighting to find a cause. When Alice fell, she never imagined she'd find a world so topsy-turvy. Just the same, you and I never thought we'd find an opponent so worthy. And when did this narrative become the mystery of only one disaster? I never saw this pavement twisting or turning, I just went faster. And maybe this is part of my heroism: my mistake, my tragic flaw. In either case, it seems you and I are tragic victims of Murphy's Law. If only we both accepted the effect, then we wouldn't need to discover a reason. And then perhaps we wouldn't be here, handcuffing your heart on charges of treason. But I guess this is just what I asked for when I said I wanted some company, because who would've guessed, when I thought I had won, you'd stubbornly refuse to run to me? There's no stopping these armies of dripping sheets that love to pray on your subconscious, because at the end of the day, the same question still remains: Do you even want this? So light your fires and burn your bridges, because our battle has just begun. But if at the end of fight, all soldiers lie, still, on the ground, has anyone won?

~

Comment and let me know what you think the name should be, and what you think it's about, because I have no clue.

Or, tell me if you think Untitled (This Is Where You Come In) should be the name.


XoxO
Maggie Massacre ™

Y'know what? I'm tired of being poetic about this shit. One of these nights, I'm gonna make you fucking mine. I'm just gonna do it. Fuck the cowardice. This is me, opening up and showing you my missing pages. What are you gonna do about it?

So as of right now, I'm talking to a nice boy who's 17, in college with a music major and a scholarship, wants to spend time with me, and would make my mum happy if I brought him home for dinner.

And yet somehow, l prefer someone who's 17, a junior in high school, barely has time to sleep (let alone call to say hello), has commitment issues because she's been fucked over too many times, and who I'd have to hide a relationship with because both of our parents don't approve of the fact that we're both girls.

I'm fucked, am I not?

XoxO
Maggie Massacre ™

When I'm with her, I'm thinking of you.
But then again, what else is new?
You've monopolized my life and refuse to quench my thirst.
Most of all, you stole my heart, but at least I had it first.

Before my ex-girlfriend and I got together, she told me she was on LJ all the time, and I got one just so I could talk to her more, so. That's basically it. ^_^

I think one of our biggest challenges as people, is learning to find a balance between the two. While some things do need careful planning and consideration, learn to live a little! Many of the best decisions we make are on a whim.
In short? Handle each situation as you see fit.

Title: Millionaire Bachelor
Author: restinpiecesluv
Pairing: Past Ray/(Surprise person)
Rating: PG-13
POV: 3rd, almost omniscient
Summary: This season's Millionaire Bachelor, Ray Toro, has a secret to share.
Disclaimer: Click to see how fake this is
Word Count: 1,278
Prompt: 026. Nervous at this prompt table
Author Notes: This started out as a drabble that I came up with while pacing in my kitchen but turned into a short one-shot.
Beta: Self. Please feel free to point out any mistakes.
Warnings: Slight angst.

( Well Ray, it seems we’ve only got one more question for you from our viewers. )

XoxO
Maggie Massacre ™

Okay, so just a few notes first.
This thing that resembles a rant actually came out a lot more dramatic than I intended it. And maybe I shouldn't be having thoughts like these until senior year, but sometimes things just happen that remind you of how fast the world is moving when you're just trying to get a grip.

( I highly doubt a summer anywhere else would feel quite like this. )

XoxO
Maggie Massacre ™

PS - This is the view of my window from my bed, which is exactly what inspired this:

Definitely Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind. Just an amazing piece of literature.

Am I the only one to notice that Sunday came and went and anon_lovefest is still lacking Post #59????

I kept refreshing all day waiting for that post and it's just about 2AM on Monday, and nothing!!!!

What is going on?!?!

MyLocalBands.com is dead!

Or, at least I think it is. I can't get to it on my comp.

Gosh, I used to fucking live there, man.

Holy shit.

Nostalgia like crazy right now.

Everything is changing and I'm just trying to get a grip.

So I've got this little project going for myself.

For the next 31 days (or longer), my status will begin with "Because...", followed by a reason I love. Um. Person? Yeah. Whoever.

And I guess you could say this is to break my writer's block, but it probably won't do much.

And I guess at the end of the 31 days I'll post all of the reasons in a note or something, because I'm just that lame.

PLEASE DON'T STEAL THIS YET. I'M DOING THIS COMPLETELY FOR MYSELF AND I'D LIKE TO FINISH IT FIRST BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES IT.

Inspired by the status I've had for the past 2 days:
Because you smile like you've got a handful of silver linings in your pocket.

But yeah. Feel free to tell me how lame this is.

First status in The "Because..." Series to be posted on Thursday, April 16th.

XoxO
Maggie Massacre ™

PS - My facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1488422571&ref=profile

As long as something makes me happy, I don't care how long it lasts.







I'm selfish.

25. Ever been in a car accident?:
Maggie says: "No because Crystal is Edward and she stops that shit."
Maggie says: "Maggie is Bella. So thanks Crystal."

::sigh::

Previous parts:
One | Two

Word Count: 390


( Three: I've been waiting in this room for quite some time now, and the articles in the magazines are getting really old. )

XoxO
Maggie Massacre ™