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9 (That Girl's Got Woe)

Sometimes I wish

I was easier to divide

Like a perfect square by its own root

I wish I could compartmentalize myself

And pick myself apart

Like a remote control or a blender

And put myself back together

Once I’ve solved the mysteries

Of my existence.

I wish I could peel back my skin

Like an apple or an orange

And find my core,

The seeds of who I am.

Because even though I am the product,

The subject of my own study,

Even though I’m conducting my own dissection,

My own autopsy,

I’m nothing but an innocent bystander

Looking for answers in a stranger’s body.

I wish I could deconstruct myself

Like an alarm clock

And see just what makes me tick.

But I’m not meant to be taken apart, am I?

Not meant to be looked at piece by piece

Because I am a whole, aren’t I?

My parts depend upon each other.

One is nothing without the other.

I am not me if my parts do not run together.

Like y=x,

They depend directly upon each other.

But without separating them I can learn nothing.

Without separating them I can not discover their functions

And why they do the things they do.

How can I identify the whole,

If I can’t even identify the parts?

Perhaps I’m not meant to be figured out

Perhaps there are no answers to my infinite equation

Because like water, I am a whole

Though with no answers, I am

A Hole.



XoxO
Maggie Monster


DEDICATED TO DESIREE NIRVANA.

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